Monday, July 13, 2009

What's it really like?

So I have been living in Charlottesville for two weeks now. Did I say I think this is easy? Well... Jansen got kicked out of preschool. They said he required too much attention, (plus his constant yelling instead of talking, and thinking everything in his site is a ball... which means he throws EVERYTHING probably played a small roll). THEN the first night Jake leaves I take the kids downstairs to do laundry and as I am throwing laundry in the washer (2 minutes???) Jansen is gone! I look everywhere and sure enough I hear the fire alarm going off in the elevator! Jansen is holding down the alarm button, which means the elevator will not open, but also, it's not going up to any other floor. I sit there knocking on the elevator and trying to get his attention so he'll let go of that button. It takes 5 minutes, with me in tears thinking I'm going to have the fire department have to open this elevator before he comes out, ALL smiles. Of course I get a lecture from the landlady about keeping my kids with me! I was so embarassed.

PLUS, I'm pumping every 3 hours which feels like I imagine wearing a dog's shock collar... but only for the first five minutes. I don't shower for the 3 days in a row that Jake is gone, YUCK!!! I can hardly stand it. Does it ever end. Jake told me this is what it means when I say it's hard.

On the brighter side... I found a girl in the ward to watch Jansen for me for a small fee. Chelsey is watching Reesa on Mondays making this an easier day and best of all MITCHELL started to nurse!!!

Mitchell has what they call an Oral-Aversion. Everything that has been put into his mouth for the past 6 weeks of his life have been very painful, so he HATES it. You put anything near his mouth and he starts to cry. Everytime I feed him he thinks it's punishment and does not want to eat. Of course this is so frustrating for me, I have to keep telling Mitchell this is the fun part of being a baby and it will bring him comfort.

Well, today they took out the feeding tube! He does not have anything on his face! That's right, he had 3 successful feeding with nursing we decided to try today with out an NG tube to his belly and weigh him tomorrow to see how he does. This is the last thing Mitchell has to do to come home. Sometimes this takes babies months, or sometimes just a week. I'm hoping he does well.
So I sit at the hospital in the NICU and watch him for when I think he wants to eat, and then I can feed him. It's so weird because if I was at home I would be so happy to have him sleep, but at the hospital, I want him awake so we can try again, so we can go home sooner.

Nursing is also scary because he forgets to breathe, desats and turns blue. I have a monitor to tell me when it's happening, but I'm so nervous to take him home... Apparently it's very sophisticated to suck, swallow, and breathe. We all just take that for granted.

So I feel like such a whinner because this is so hard. I'm trying to stay positive but don't think I do a very good job most of the time. I haven't been able to get on the computer for awhile, and I just started crying to see all the people who care, and have such sweet and supportive comments. The Lord is blessing our family everyday! Thank you so much, I really needed it!

All my love,


  1. I'm so sorry it is hard. Don't let people like that landlady bother you, she doesn't know what you are going through right now. that is GREAT about mitchell nursing, i'm sure he'll learn quick that it is good to eat! smile!

  2. Thanks for posting the updates!

    It may be hard to believe this when you're stuck in the ICU for days on end ... but there is an army of people back in Richmond who think about you guys every day and we're AMAZED at how well you're holding things together.

    Hang in there ... come home soon.


  3. Kellie! You are such a good sport. I was so impressed at how well you were handling things while I was there, and I am sure you are handling them well still. After all, you are human like the rest of us. Not to mention, as the time continues to go on, it gets harder. You're doing great. Hang in there, you can do it! We love you, and Jake and Mitchell! (OF COURSE, Reesa and Jansen too!)

  4. Oh Kellie! I wish I were there in Charlotesville with u! But, I'll be praying that you feel the Lord's love and comfort through this all. I agree with Hannah whole-heartedly! You are a fabulous woman, and gosh the Lord must love u a whole bunch to trust u with this much adversity-isn't that such a mom answer, but then again, it's true. We love u all, and are anxious to help any chance we get-keep us posted on what we can do from richmond! Seriously anything!!!!

  5. Kellie!
    You seriously are the one of the most positive people I know! You are amazing and an inspiration to everyone! We love you and are SOOO happy and thankful that your baby is doing well!!

  6. Hang in there. This is a tough time. Some day you will look back and feel good that you made it through it, and you will! Your friends here are cheering you on :-)

  7. Oh, Kellie, I'm so sorry about SUCH frustrating situations!! Hang in there. It will be better soon!1

  8. Kel, I'm so sorry for everything your little fam is going through! What a hard week for ALL of you! But it sounds like little Mitchell is a champ (remember I thought his name sounded like a super hero in disguise?) and I'm glad to keep reading good news from him!! HANG IN THERE!!

  9. Kellie and Jake,

    Incredible miracles, way to press onward. We will keep you guys in our prayers. Thank You for being willing to share your story.

    Love Marci Johnsen

  10. OH! Hang in there! We're all cheering for you! We are so grateful at the progress that Mitchell is making. Just 10 yrs. you'll look back at this and laugh. :)

  11. Kellie & Jake,

    I think you are a great couple and have a cute family. Despite of all adversities of life, I know!, our father in heaven is going to bless you in ways you didn't even ever imagine. What you are going through is very hard and as someone already said you must have the capacity, love and heart to stand still. Perhaps this trial was just so you could feel the arms of the Father around you, to make you strong and to show you how special you are.

    Geyer family we love you and are continuously praying for you and for Mitchell to come home soon. Hang in there.


  12. Kellie, you are not a whiner!!! You are a rock!