Yesterday we lost our precious, precious, sweet darling 4 year old baby boy! That is such a sad sentence and what's so sad it that it's our sentence. We are so over come with grief as we our mourning the loss of a best friend, son, and a brother. We thought we would share a timeline of the miraculous events that occurred yesterday.
At 6 am Jake wakes up and finds Mitchell happy and smiling in his crib. He changed his diaper and puts Mitchell in his favorite place on earth... his swing! At 7 am Jake went in to give Mitchell his meds and thought Mitchell didn't look right. He called me in to help check him out, and when I came in, we soon became painfully aware that he had passed away. Jake frantically told me to call 911, and I could not! I just felt we could help him. I took Mitchell into the living room while Jake called 911 and checked for a pulse. His heart had stopped beating and he was gray. I laid Mitchell on the floor and started CPR. We both were screaming, crying and trying to save our little guy. The lady from 911 had to direct us every step along the way because we were so heartbroken that we had lost our son. I did rescue breaths on my precious little boy who laid perfectly still and let me. It was amazing to see it work after taking a zillion classes and practicing on so many dolls I couldn't believe I was actually doing it on my own son. Jake did compressions but was so broken up I had to help him several times.
The paramedics arrived in what seemed like 10-20 minutes later. They took over and continued CPR while we stood back and bawled! It was horrible, scary, and frightening while all so final. I just sat there amazed by these men who were so young, and brave to not cry, show distress or ever lose hope! Jake gave him a priesthood blessing while they worked, administered epi, analyzed his heart rhythm with an AED... precious time continued to slip away. He heart never had a shock-able rhythm so they could never shock him. After another 30 minutes, right when we thought they were going to give up, they heard a faint heart sound although still no pulse. He was obviously dead and part of us thought they should have given up, although we were not ready to let him go.
With what seemed like a formality, they loaded him up in the ambulance and whisked him, Jake and me away. They continued to do CPR for 15 more minutes and suddenly Mitchell's heart started beating all on its own! The firemen and paramedics were just as shocked as we were!!! It was a miracle, we have always known that Mitchell was a fighter, but coming back to life after an hour and a half seemed like a stretch even for him!
At the hospital it soon became apparent that he would still die, but he came back for us to be able to say our goodbyes properly. It was a hard, sad, horrible, wonderful day. He laid there unconscious with a hundred tubes attached, but he was alive. We had the entire day to hold him, caress him, and speak softly to him and we pleaded with the Lord to help us though this horrible time. We were informed we needed to make a decision to either withdraw support, or watch his body deteriorate until it finally gave up on it's own. Neither option sounded good. But we couldn't bear to watch him suffer anymore and decided to remove life support at 4 pm. We were blessed to have very close friends and Jake's parents come to be with us and comfort us while we tried to say good-bye. They removed all the tubes, and lines and made him look beautiful and normal again so Reesa and Jansen could come in and say good-bye too. The Dr. told us she thought he would pass away in a couple of minutes, but to our amazement he held on for another hour!!! We had a very special moment with Reesa and Jansen as we held our baby and cried our good-byes to him. It was the hardest thing we had to do, but it would have been unimaginably tragic to have said good-bye that morning on our living room floor. In Mitchell's final selfless act he decided to come back and suffer a little while longer so we could say good-bye.
We got to give Mitchell a bath, a hair cut... that I had been planning on giving him that day, and hold him for a few more hours. It felt so perfect holding that beautiful baby boy. I never wanted to leave and wailed over and over as I thought of leaving him there. Jake and Lenora had to help me over and over to finally leave, and at 9 pm we walked away from our poor baby boy alone this time. After so many happy endings at this hospital this one was unimaginable, unbelievable, and heartbreaking!
We have appreciated everyone's thoughts, prayers, texts, and emails. We are so honored to be Mitchell's parents and will miss him forever! We will be waiting to see that precious little boy of ours. We know he is in a better place, and his suffering is finally complete. How in the world do we do the impossible? Mitchell was my life, my identity, my passion, and my baby. We are hurting and leaning on each other and dear loved ones.
We appreciate your support and prayers and will be honoring his life and mission at a funeral service this Monday morning at 11:30 am at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Oakhurst (49969 School Rd). There will be two viewings. One Sunday night at 6 pm at the Funeral Home in Oakhurst (49629 Rd. 426) and another viewing before the funeral at 10 am at the church. We would be honored to have you there.
Jake and Kellie